WHAT is the 90/10 Principle?
It means that 10 percent of life is made up of what happens to you; 90 percent of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10 percent of what happens to us.
For instance, we cannot stop the car from breaking down, the plane from arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off.
We have no control over this 10 percent. The other 90 percent is different.
You can control the 90 percent.
How?
By your reaction.
Let's use an example.............
Scenario:
You are eating breakfast with your family.
Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.
You have no control over what has just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
Negative Flow:
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.
A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school.
She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible.
As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of your reaction that morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have been done and should have happened.
Positive Flow:
Coffee splashes over you.
Your daughter is about to cry.
You gently say, "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time."
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
After pulling out a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves.
You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you REACTED.
A powerful principle... especially for those who take life too seriously.
Apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life - at least the way you react to situations.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Rumsfeld Classics
1.I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man.
2. I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right
3. I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here
5. For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times
Classic:
"As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."
This quote has not only passed into linguistic legend, it also won Rumsfeld a " Foot in Mouth " award from the British Plain English Campaign.
2. I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right
3. I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here
5. For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times
Classic:
"As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."
This quote has not only passed into linguistic legend, it also won Rumsfeld a " Foot in Mouth " award from the British Plain English Campaign.
Prophet
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MARRIAGE
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHILDREN
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
MARRIAGE
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHILDREN
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Oxymorons
Here you will find the top 45 oxymorons. An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize that they fall within this category.
45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt head
26. Military intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Child Proof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
...And the number 1 oxymoron is..
1. Microsoft Works
45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt head
26. Military intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Child Proof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
...And the number 1 oxymoron is..
1. Microsoft Works
English
English is really crazy
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Contrary Proverbs
All good things come to those who wait.
Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.
Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free .
There's no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race .
Time waits for no man ..
Look before you leap .
Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all.
Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.
It ain't over 'till it's over.
Silence is golden.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.
Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free .
There's no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race .
Time waits for no man ..
Look before you leap .
Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all.
Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.
It ain't over 'till it's over.
Silence is golden.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
Lincoln - JFK
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
College Days
During College Days...
1. On being Late
"Kab chalu hua?"
"Attendance ho gaya kya??"
"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"
"Mein kya karu, Brij bathroom mein ghusa hua tha"
"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ........ kal kya padaya tha sir ne"
"Kal se pakka class karunga"
"Ek page de na.......... abe pen bhi to de......."
"Kal proxy mara tha kya"
"Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"
2. During the lecture
"Yesss !!!! Sir.......The answer is .......huuuummmmm.......aaaaaaaa............"
"No sir.....I know the answer .......sir...."
"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"
"Abe lecture ko chod..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........"
"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha.......gadha......."
"mera assignment tere paas hai??"
"Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha cigarette pene chalte hain "
"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go canteen now!!!"
"Boss class khatam hote hi chai chahiye......"
3. Lab
"Expt. 2 likha??"
"Idhar Karna kya hai??"
"Yeh bhai.....mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata........"
"Areee tu to bura maan gaya.......data dikha na........."
4. Mid Sem
"Mid Sem???? .....Aree yaar...... "
"Kya...... abe Mid Sem mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya hoga...."
"Boss..... hogaya......aur nahi ho sakta........jaan nahi de sakta......."
"Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?"
"Aaj kounsa test hai?"
"Oye Naini kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail...."
After test......"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen chalega..."
5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane) "I was in the class, lecturer mark karna bhool gaya "
"Oye usko thoda khus kar list se tera naam hata dega........"
"Bola tha proxy regularly maar....... Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua....."
6. Late submission of assignments
"Maine ukko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"
"Last date extend hua thaa"
"I didn't know the last date"
"Ab mein kya karu wo mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya......."
"They should allow XEROX........"
7 . After exam
"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"Ye subject ka reference book kounsa hai"
"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......Gaya..........fail pakka......."
"Yaar notice lagte hi faad dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar......"
8 VIVA (b4 exam)
"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Aeee......Rohit.....terese kya poocha......."
"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."
"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai"
9 . VIVA (General)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ka watt laga diya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse unit mein aata hai"
10 . Submission
"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"
"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."
"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"
11 . A convo:
"Ye tune kya likha hai????"
(The best one)
"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal"
"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"
" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar."
"Koi hint........"
"Are baba ghasit de........na tu samjega na wo........"
12. Exam
"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein) aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas is ke notes hai??"
"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"
"nahi samjha to rat le"
"External ka aane ka pura scene hai....... "
"Iss paper mein roll number ka kya order hai........"
"Pichle paper mein to kuch to aata tha.......issmein to anda aata hai......"
"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........"
........ bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai .........
........ Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai.......
........ kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ........
........ kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain ........
........ abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai ........
........ Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai......
........ hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ........
........ exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai ........
........ tab ki bekar lagne wali photo's chehre pe hasi laati hai .......
........ Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. ........
........ Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai........
........ Aaj tum bahut yaad aate ho.......
........Ek aisi subah uthne ka man karta hai........
........bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai........
........bas ek bar aur .......
........wapas lautne ka man karta hai
1. On being Late
"Kab chalu hua?"
"Attendance ho gaya kya??"
"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"
"Mein kya karu, Brij bathroom mein ghusa hua tha"
"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ........ kal kya padaya tha sir ne"
"Kal se pakka class karunga"
"Ek page de na.......... abe pen bhi to de......."
"Kal proxy mara tha kya"
"Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"
2. During the lecture
"Yesss !!!! Sir.......The answer is .......huuuummmmm.......aaaaaaaa............"
"No sir.....I know the answer .......sir...."
"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"
"Abe lecture ko chod..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........"
"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha.......gadha......."
"mera assignment tere paas hai??"
"Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha cigarette pene chalte hain "
"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go canteen now!!!"
"Boss class khatam hote hi chai chahiye......"
3. Lab
"Expt. 2 likha??"
"Idhar Karna kya hai??"
"Yeh bhai.....mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata........"
"Areee tu to bura maan gaya.......data dikha na........."
4. Mid Sem
"Mid Sem???? .....Aree yaar...... "
"Kya...... abe Mid Sem mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya hoga...."
"Boss..... hogaya......aur nahi ho sakta........jaan nahi de sakta......."
"Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?"
"Aaj kounsa test hai?"
"Oye Naini kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail...."
After test......"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen chalega..."
5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane) "I was in the class, lecturer mark karna bhool gaya "
"Oye usko thoda khus kar list se tera naam hata dega........"
"Bola tha proxy regularly maar....... Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua....."
6. Late submission of assignments
"Maine ukko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"
"Last date extend hua thaa"
"I didn't know the last date"
"Ab mein kya karu wo mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya......."
"They should allow XEROX........"
7 . After exam
"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"Ye subject ka reference book kounsa hai"
"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......Gaya..........fail pakka......."
"Yaar notice lagte hi faad dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar......"
8 VIVA (b4 exam)
"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Aeee......Rohit.....terese kya poocha......."
"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."
"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai"
9 . VIVA (General)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ka watt laga diya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse unit mein aata hai"
10 . Submission
"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"
"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."
"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"
11 . A convo:
"Ye tune kya likha hai????"
(The best one)
"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal"
"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"
" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar."
"Koi hint........"
"Are baba ghasit de........na tu samjega na wo........"
12. Exam
"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein) aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas is ke notes hai??"
"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"
"nahi samjha to rat le"
"External ka aane ka pura scene hai....... "
"Iss paper mein roll number ka kya order hai........"
"Pichle paper mein to kuch to aata tha.......issmein to anda aata hai......"
"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........"
........ bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai .........
........ Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai.......
........ kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ........
........ kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain ........
........ abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai ........
........ Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai......
........ hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ........
........ exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai ........
........ tab ki bekar lagne wali photo's chehre pe hasi laati hai .......
........ Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. ........
........ Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai........
........ Aaj tum bahut yaad aate ho.......
........Ek aisi subah uthne ka man karta hai........
........bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai........
........bas ek bar aur .......
........wapas lautne ka man karta hai
Onsite
A Story about Onsite...!
One fine day, Vivek's PL Bhatia asks him whether he has any time for a small meeting. Vivek obviously has time and so the two go to a conference room. Bhatia then clears his throat and says "Vivek, there is an on-site requirement. It is in Covina, Los Angeles. It is for six months. I can suggest your name. Do you have any problems?"
Vivek cannot believe his ears. Of course why should any one have problems going to the Sam land. "Of course no Bhatia.. I have no problems." he says.
Bhatia looks at him very kindly and says "You better draw up your personal plans with your wife and let me know in a day or two" That's when Vivek remembers that he has a wife. Then it strikes him that there is a himalayan problem in front of him. Shobana is working in Wipro. She is in the middle of a project in which she is a moduleleader. She cannot leave it all and come to Covinawith Vivek. On the otherhand it will be cruel on Vivek's part to leave her here and go to Covinafor more than half a year. Moreover, they have just been married. Vivek can stay back. But one day he has to go..
He cannot stay back in India indefinitely. Project requirements are too
demanding. Shobana can resign Wipro and accompany Vivek. But what is the guarantee that she would find such a nice job in such a nice company after they come back from Covina? So Shobana and Vivek discuss this issue. They reluctantly agree to get separated for six months.
Vivek hugs Shobana in the airport and says "I will be BACK" in a typical Arnold Schwarzanegger tone and then boards Delta Airways leaving Shobana in tears. In Covina Vivek gets lots of work and his stay gets extended by two more months. The days and months move very slowly. Vivek starts counting even minutes.
During this period, Shobana's PL Ashish Mehta calls her one day and asks her whether she has any time for a small meeting. Shobana wonders what that meeting is.. They go to the conference room and Mehta tells her about a great on-site requirement in Berlin, Germany for their customer.
"It is for six months and you are most suited person for this. I am going to suggest your name. Do you have any problems?" Mehta asks her.
Shobana gets excited.. Berlin! She has never been out of India. So she instantly nods her head. Mehta then smiles and says "Okay discuss with your hubby and let me know in a day or two"
That's when Shobana gets the gravity of the situation. It will be two
months before Vivek can come home..... By the time Shobana will have left to Berlin for six months. Shobana cannot decline this as this is an important assignment. That night Vivek spends hundred dollars on telephone to discuss this matter with Shobana. Finally they decide to go ahead. Shobana breaks down in the phone and Vivek breaks down thinking about his phone bill. And then Shobana leaves to Berlin.
One month after that,Vivek comes back to India. Then Shobana calls him almost everyday and they discuss about all petty things on the phone. Shobana applies for a loan to clear her telephone bills. Vivek gets into a new project which is not yet started. His PL Prateek Ray calls him one day and says that he has to go to ToledoOhiofor the requirement analysis of that project. Vivek frantically says no. Shobana is arriving next month. He doesn't want to miss her. But Ray assures him that the work is only for one month and that he would be back before Shobana comes to India.
Thus Vivek flies to Toledo, Ohio and gets into the requirement analysis of the new project. That's when he comes to know how difficult it is to retrieve information from the users. You can design a system the user wants only when the user knows what he wants. Vivek gets baffled by the questions his users put..
"Do you think I need those fields "GMG_TYPE_HJHJ_TW" and "Auto_level_ind"?
What are they by the way?" The requirements analysis stage continues for three full months at this pace. Shobana comes to India one month after that. And she tells her PL that she doesn't want anymore on-site assignments. "I understand" says Mehta and she desperately waits for Vivek to come back to India. It has already been two months over a year since they last met. Vivek then gets the role of an on-site co-rdinator
for this customer.
He calls Shobana that night and they really don't know what to do. Shobana offers to resign her job and join him in Toledo. But she is getting 21 grand per month in India and Vivek doesn't want to lose that. "Two more months Shobana and I promise I will be back"
Shobana retorts back, "There is no solution for this problem." Vivek gets surprised. "What are you talking about?" he asks her. Shobana fights back her tears. "As long as I am in Wipro I will be getting a lot of on-site opportunities. Even if I decline all of them, what about you? You also work for a software company and there you need to go abroad almost once every quarter.
I cannot accompany you as you don't want me to resign my job here. Does that mean we have to stay like this forever? Vivek! I love you and I don't know how I spent fifteen months without even seeing you once.
I may not recognize you also if you come in front of me now... Tell me Vivek, is there a solution for this problem?" Vivek doesn't speak anything for a moment. He then realizes the truth in her sentences. It is a neverending problem.
But what about the 20 grand she is getting per month?
"Vivek, is money everything? Can't we comfortably live with what you are getting? Please Vivek, try to understand the situation" Shobana breaks down. Vivek is still undecided. He married a software engineer with a hope that with two incomes he would have a good deal of money to plan their future.
"Let us face the reality, Vivek" Shobana says, "How much are you paying for the phone calls now? More than 20 grand per month.
If I am with you there will your phone bill be so astronomical? Just tell me one thing. Won't you be happy having me there with you?" Shobana slowly turns hysterical. Vivek gets into the crux of the situation. It is true.
He has been spending around 600 to 700 dollars per month on India calls... that is far more than what Shobana is getting then. He thinks and thinks.. for two days he does nothing else but thinking. Finally he decides that he should have Shobana with him all the time from then onwards at any cost.
Shobana gladly prepares the resignation letter and submits it. Her PL smiles and says "You've made the right decision Shobana..
Congratulations for the bold step. I understand your problems. Anyway! you have a three months notice period here, right? We have a one month assignment in Singapore..."
One fine day, Vivek's PL Bhatia asks him whether he has any time for a small meeting. Vivek obviously has time and so the two go to a conference room. Bhatia then clears his throat and says "Vivek, there is an on-site requirement. It is in Covina, Los Angeles. It is for six months. I can suggest your name. Do you have any problems?"
Vivek cannot believe his ears. Of course why should any one have problems going to the Sam land. "Of course no Bhatia.. I have no problems." he says.
Bhatia looks at him very kindly and says "You better draw up your personal plans with your wife and let me know in a day or two" That's when Vivek remembers that he has a wife. Then it strikes him that there is a himalayan problem in front of him. Shobana is working in Wipro. She is in the middle of a project in which she is a moduleleader. She cannot leave it all and come to Covinawith Vivek. On the otherhand it will be cruel on Vivek's part to leave her here and go to Covinafor more than half a year. Moreover, they have just been married. Vivek can stay back. But one day he has to go..
He cannot stay back in India indefinitely. Project requirements are too
demanding. Shobana can resign Wipro and accompany Vivek. But what is the guarantee that she would find such a nice job in such a nice company after they come back from Covina? So Shobana and Vivek discuss this issue. They reluctantly agree to get separated for six months.
Vivek hugs Shobana in the airport and says "I will be BACK" in a typical Arnold Schwarzanegger tone and then boards Delta Airways leaving Shobana in tears. In Covina Vivek gets lots of work and his stay gets extended by two more months. The days and months move very slowly. Vivek starts counting even minutes.
During this period, Shobana's PL Ashish Mehta calls her one day and asks her whether she has any time for a small meeting. Shobana wonders what that meeting is.. They go to the conference room and Mehta tells her about a great on-site requirement in Berlin, Germany for their customer.
"It is for six months and you are most suited person for this. I am going to suggest your name. Do you have any problems?" Mehta asks her.
Shobana gets excited.. Berlin! She has never been out of India. So she instantly nods her head. Mehta then smiles and says "Okay discuss with your hubby and let me know in a day or two"
That's when Shobana gets the gravity of the situation. It will be two
months before Vivek can come home..... By the time Shobana will have left to Berlin for six months. Shobana cannot decline this as this is an important assignment. That night Vivek spends hundred dollars on telephone to discuss this matter with Shobana. Finally they decide to go ahead. Shobana breaks down in the phone and Vivek breaks down thinking about his phone bill. And then Shobana leaves to Berlin.
One month after that,Vivek comes back to India. Then Shobana calls him almost everyday and they discuss about all petty things on the phone. Shobana applies for a loan to clear her telephone bills. Vivek gets into a new project which is not yet started. His PL Prateek Ray calls him one day and says that he has to go to ToledoOhiofor the requirement analysis of that project. Vivek frantically says no. Shobana is arriving next month. He doesn't want to miss her. But Ray assures him that the work is only for one month and that he would be back before Shobana comes to India.
Thus Vivek flies to Toledo, Ohio and gets into the requirement analysis of the new project. That's when he comes to know how difficult it is to retrieve information from the users. You can design a system the user wants only when the user knows what he wants. Vivek gets baffled by the questions his users put..
"Do you think I need those fields "GMG_TYPE_HJHJ_TW" and "Auto_level_ind"?
What are they by the way?" The requirements analysis stage continues for three full months at this pace. Shobana comes to India one month after that. And she tells her PL that she doesn't want anymore on-site assignments. "I understand" says Mehta and she desperately waits for Vivek to come back to India. It has already been two months over a year since they last met. Vivek then gets the role of an on-site co-rdinator
for this customer.
He calls Shobana that night and they really don't know what to do. Shobana offers to resign her job and join him in Toledo. But she is getting 21 grand per month in India and Vivek doesn't want to lose that. "Two more months Shobana and I promise I will be back"
Shobana retorts back, "There is no solution for this problem." Vivek gets surprised. "What are you talking about?" he asks her. Shobana fights back her tears. "As long as I am in Wipro I will be getting a lot of on-site opportunities. Even if I decline all of them, what about you? You also work for a software company and there you need to go abroad almost once every quarter.
I cannot accompany you as you don't want me to resign my job here. Does that mean we have to stay like this forever? Vivek! I love you and I don't know how I spent fifteen months without even seeing you once.
I may not recognize you also if you come in front of me now... Tell me Vivek, is there a solution for this problem?" Vivek doesn't speak anything for a moment. He then realizes the truth in her sentences. It is a neverending problem.
But what about the 20 grand she is getting per month?
"Vivek, is money everything? Can't we comfortably live with what you are getting? Please Vivek, try to understand the situation" Shobana breaks down. Vivek is still undecided. He married a software engineer with a hope that with two incomes he would have a good deal of money to plan their future.
"Let us face the reality, Vivek" Shobana says, "How much are you paying for the phone calls now? More than 20 grand per month.
If I am with you there will your phone bill be so astronomical? Just tell me one thing. Won't you be happy having me there with you?" Shobana slowly turns hysterical. Vivek gets into the crux of the situation. It is true.
He has been spending around 600 to 700 dollars per month on India calls... that is far more than what Shobana is getting then. He thinks and thinks.. for two days he does nothing else but thinking. Finally he decides that he should have Shobana with him all the time from then onwards at any cost.
Shobana gladly prepares the resignation letter and submits it. Her PL smiles and says "You've made the right decision Shobana..
Congratulations for the bold step. I understand your problems. Anyway! you have a three months notice period here, right? We have a one month assignment in Singapore..."
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